A Face Can Say So Much
Facial expressions are designed to communicate feelings, often without words. Here are a few expressions from all around the world, proving we are not so different after all.
Whether it be during sporting events:
But it’s not limited to the participants, those around them also indulge in facial expressions:
Thrill rides result in thrilled expressions:
Children learn the power of facial expressions at a young age:
And even pets can be influenced to the point of mimicry. Here we have a display of a porn star and a politician:
Some expressions simply occur due to what a person is looking at:
And others happen due to attempted ridicule:
Some people pull fake expressions to mimic others:
Apes, as some of our closest animal relations, also pull facial expressions:
As do certain celebrities – those who haven’t overdosed on Botox, that is:
But none of them, not a single one, will ever come close to being as creepy as this guy:
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The Land of Confusion
Confusion is everywhere; behind every smile and beyond each horizon. More than terrorism, confusion is quite possibly the greatest threat to humanity and we must be wary to the point of paranoid in order to safeguard against attack.
Street signs might be the most obvious threat:
But then again, man’s best friend is not immune to its poisonous touch.
The younger generation is already showing signs of being affected.
And their teen years are no better:
Even artistic designs have been corrupted:
So we all need to stop:
Take a deep breath:
Lean on somebody:
And just have faith in those who have led us here.
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Things to do in a Hurricane.
We all know Hurricane Irene is playing havoc, but remember there’s plenty to do during a storm.
Get out and take a stroll:
Pretend to be Mary Poppins or just play on the swings at the park:
Do some gardening:
Take your boat out for a nice, relaxing day:
Or even go for a cruise:
But probably try to avoid the fishing:
Remember to stock up on supplies:
And then go get a lap dance to relax:
Or simply have a coffee to forget all about it:
If you go out, make sure you take an umbrella:
Probably best not to go surfing:
Check the news and weather:
But no matter what, remember to smile:
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Michael Bolton made me laugh. What the…?
I just had to share this video with you all. If, like me, you remember Michael Bolton and his whining warbling from the early 90s, you’ll truly appreciate this combination of him taking the piss out of himself and the awesome references to the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Enjoy.
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Ninjas
Ninjas can be anywhere, at any time. You need to beware and stay on your guard lest you fall prey to their malicious machinations, and the only way to do that is to be well informed. Luckily for you I’m here to help. I studied under the Ninja Grand Master, Havnoclu, and through his tutelage can now identify many of the traits which may elude the more ignorant mindset.
Training to become a ninja starts out at a very young age:
But soon acolytes begin to display obvious signs of their training:
And before you know it, they are displaying incredible feats of skill beyond those of normal youngsters:
Pets of these children might also begin to show signs of the kid’s advanced skills as they play with them in the ninja fashion:
Do not make the mistake of thinking your daughter is safe from becoming a ninja either. Before you know it her after-school karate classes for fun:
Might lead her into a life of assassination:
Ninjas live on a very strict diet, high in complex carbohydrates for energy:
But sometimes ninjas become confused and take dieting too far:
Or not far enough:
But ninjas always attract the babes:
Costumes may vary according to the situation. Sometimes ninjas need to disguise themselves as popular super heroes:
Or even on stage at sporting events:
And sometimes they even have to perform their duties in broad daylight:
There are many imitators out there:
But very few of the real thing:
Just remember, in the end, if a ninja is after you, chances are this is all you’ll see:
Good luck!
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Puppies
There’s a reason puppies are so damn cute, it’s so we don’t eat them. Seriously. I mean, if you were out in a frozen wasteland with only an empty rucksack and one of the puppies pictured above, chances are you’re about to find out what your backpack tastes like.
Now if your canine companion looked like this:
you’d be going to sleep with something in your belly that night.
But my post isn’t about the ugly ones, it’s about the ones that make girls go, “Aw, how cute,” and the guys with them cringe, knowing chances are they’ll soon have another pet to feed. Remember guys, pit-bull pups start out cute too:
Yes, puppies catch your eye and their every clumsy movement tugs at the toughest heartstrings in ways designed to melt every heart and bring a smile to the stoutest of features… the little bastards.
Don’t be fooled, it’s all a conspiracy to get you to lower your guard and then your precious little baby will crap in your favorite shoes, chew on your very expensive remote control, terrorize your house with yapping until they no longer look like this:
They start to look more like this:
Yep. I guarantee that after a week of stepping in crap and waking up at all hours to a howling puppy, in your mind’s eye it’ll start seeming like the above picture, but that’s okay. All of it is okay. You know why?
Because its next look after you stop yelling will be this one:
Dammit!
Little bastards.
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