Meandering Musings Of A Mutated Mind

Crawling Upon the Path of Shattered Dreams

By Luke Romyn on July 11, 2011

Breathe in hope. Exhale despair.

I scream silently, tearing apart with each agonizing inch I draw closer, falling to pieces and drawing together with each moment I exist. This cannot be worth it, but I cannot turn away, not now. I have come too far, sacrificed too much not to see it come to fruition.

Dreams wither and bloom with each gasp. I cry to God for help but He ignores me, realizing the torment I endure is something I must undergo alone and His touch will surely shatter the task completely. My soul is burning, but it is not ashen yet. I must go on.

Everything has become a blur of pain, agony beyond measure, but the knowledge others have trudged this path before me gives hope, and hope is like water in the desert to a dying man. I would weep and gnash teeth, but to do so is pointless, I must go on.

The monotony of each day drags on like razor-wire, each task laborious beyond measure.

I cannot go on. I must go on.

There is no choice in the matter, but it is a task almost beyond me.

I have already come so far.

Others surpass me, flying to almost unbelievable heights seemingly without effort. Their accomplishments are met with heralds and accolades, yet my own pass seemingly unnoticed. It does not matter, nothing matters anymore, only the pinprick of light in the distance which never seems to draw nearer. It remains constant in my mind, but always appears so far away, so unattainable, like trying to grasp the ocean and hold it tight. The harder I try the more it seems to slip away.

And so I will continue along this path of shattered dreams, cut and broken, but still whole enough to make it. For every now and then along this road someone appears to make it all worthwhile, a stranger with words of praise for the work I think nobody sees, and my blood surges whole once more. My wounds heal and I can again walk like a man among the corpses that litter my road, those who came before me and failed.

But I will not fail.

I will endure.

I must.

For those who give me hope, for those who would see me fall, for those who have borne my pain while I have crawled – there is no other choice for me. I will get stronger with each injury, ignoring agony which cannot be borne, gasping acid and exhaling light, for that is what I must do in order to achieve what I desire. Whining will not do it, complaining will not aid me, only fortitude and perseverance in the face of what assails me will see me through.

And so I crawl on, each day bringing new hope that it might be my last upon this path of shattered dreams….

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Topics: Serious, Writing | 5 Comments »

When I grow up….

By Luke Romyn on June 15, 2011

When I grow up, I wanna be special, to stand out from the crowd, but in order to do that I need to learn from those who came before me and grow up just the right way.

I need to remember that this kid:

Ended up being this dude:

And this seemingly innocent baby:

Tragically resulted in this adult:

But not all adult issues begin in the crib. For instance, this kid was just beginning to mature when this happened:

Imagine the issues he’ll have in later life.

Bad parenting is also a huge determining factor in how any kid will end up in later life:

But that’s all stuff therapists can work on in later life. Some things can’t be changed, though. Sexual orientation, for instance, is decided much earlier than many people would have us believe:

Neither is wrong, but either will dramatically dictate a guy’s life. Another thing which will affect adulthood will be a violent nature. Violence in early life may seem harmless, but could point to issues which will manifest more devastatingly in later life. Simple things like this: